Elon Musk wants to buy TikTok

Elon Musk, the man who promised us flying cars, colonies on Mars, and a "censorship-free" social platform that turned out to be a Persian market of extreme opinions, now has his sights set on TikTok. And no, it's not to learn viral choreographies or discover three-minute pasta recipes. His intention seems to be something much deeper and... well, very much in the Yankee style of doing business.

The strategy of Uncle Sam: sanction, bomb, buy

In the unofficial manual of "How to handle successful foreign companies" from the United States, the instructions are clear:

1. Sanction them. Accuse them of espionage, data theft, or anything that sounds alarming. (Does TikTok spy for China? It doesn't matter if it's true! It sounds scary).
2. Bring them down. If they don't bend, move on to more aggressive tactics. Let's not forget that when sanctions don't work, there's always an aircraft carrier stationed somewhere in the Pacific.
3. And if all else fails, buy them. Because, what better way to "protect" freedom than to hand everything over to a tech oligarch?

Elon Musk: Savior or Monopolizer?

With TikTok shut down in the US following a court decision, Musk, like a bird of prey, seems to see a golden opportunity. Let's not forget that this visionary has already transformed Twitter into "X", where moderation rules are as flexible as his definition of freedom of speech. Now imagine TikTok under his command:

• Dance videos accompanied by SpaceX ads.
• Influencers promoting colonies on Mars.
• And algorithms that prioritize content that, curiously, supports the political agenda of his allies.

The new masters of discourse

A decade ago, social networks were a space for mortals to share memes and cat photos. Now, they are political tools managed by billionaires who, like in a game of chess, decide what information we see and what gets buried. Can you imagine Musk and Zuckerberg playing Monopoly with our digital lives? Well, you don't have to imagine it anymore.

With the consolidation of social networks in the hands of a few, we find ourselves facing an ethical dilemma: should we trust people who call themselves "visionary technocrats" but whose actions seem more like those of villains in science fiction movies?

The solution: Emigrate to another ecosystem

Faced with this scenario, some users are abandoning centralized platforms like X and TikTok to explore decentralized alternatives like Mastodon or Bluesky. Of course, it's not easy: most of us don't want to leave behind our followers, favorite memes, and viral recipes. But what if the price of staying is giving up our privacy and minds to the algorithms of the broligarchy?

A satirical ending to an absurd story

Perhaps the next step will be even more surreal. Musk could launch a new social network called "TikX", where users can vote for their favorite videos with cryptocurrencies while building virtual rockets. And why not? If the current narrative has taught us anything, it's that in this power game, reality always outdoes fiction.

Meanwhile, ordinary citizens will continue to dance, but not for TikTok. Now we dance to the rhythm set by the broligarchy. And if you don't like it, well... you can always move to Mars.